


Silas Girls Academy

by ofarrowsandspacemen



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Carmilla Big Bang 2018, F/F, Fluff, Jealousy, Suicide mention, Teacher AU, WHAT ELSE IS FUCKIN' NEW, YEAH YEAH I KNOW I'M LATE, forbidden relationship, it's brief but it's there, pining but like in a weird quiet way, some semi smut among it all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 09:49:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16302881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofarrowsandspacemen/pseuds/ofarrowsandspacemen
Summary: Silas Girls Academy is the most prestigious prep school on the east coast. The rules for students are strict, but the rules for teachers are just as stringent. Carmilla has learned to follow them the hard way - by breaking a few. However, after five years, she doesn't struggle to keep in line.That all changes when Laura Hollis shows up.AKATeachers AU where coworkers are forbidden from dating.





	Silas Girls Academy

**Author's Note:**

> welp, this is for the carmilla 2018 big bang so i'm........right on time. 
> 
> MY BAD FOR NOT GETTING IT POSTED anywhere NEAR the fucking date it should have been, but hey - i got it out there and that's what counts right? eh? eh, dead fandom? no? okay well WHATEVER. 
> 
> special thanks to my incredibly patient and lovely big bang partner aalbanaa who made some beautiful artwork for this and put up with me not having my shit together. 
> 
> as per usual, just me eyes on this so all fuck ups and typos are mine and MINE ALONE. 
> 
> hope you cool cats enjoy!

 

 

“Damn it!”

 

Carmilla rolled her eyes as she entered the teacher’s lounge. It had been approximately forty-two minutes since the start of semester in-service day had begun and already someone was losing it at the coffee machine. It was going to be a long year.

 

“Stupid piece of-”

 

“Flip the plug.”

 

Carmilla didn’t know why she offered the information, the woman at the coffee machine was clearly startled by the hint, but the words came anyway.

 

The woman’s eyebrows drew together suspiciously.

 

“That won’t work, one side of the plug is wider than the other.”

 

Carmilla sighed, abandoning her tea at the microwave and moving to pull the coffee machine plug from the wall.

 

“It’s old. Same size on both sides. It’s finicky if you don’t have it twisted right.”

 

She plugged it in upside down and pressed the on switch. After a few silent moments, it glugged to life and began sputtering out another pot of coffee. Carmilla tapped the counter with her hand and then walked back over to her cooling tea cup.

 

“Thank you,” the woman said. “I’m...I’m not even a big coffee drinker. More of a hot chocolate girl, but I’m just so nervous and it’s the first day and nothing is going well and-”

 

Carmilla cut her off.

 

“Okay, cupcake, let’s just take a breath. It’s the first day. No students yet. One step at a time.”

 

The woman nodded, eyes not leaving the coffee pot.

 

“I’m Laura, by the way. Laura Hollis.”

 

She turned as she said her name, eyes bright and big and determined in a way that made Carmilla rock back on her heels. The feeling wasn't unpleasant, on the contrary, but it was highly, highly unwelcome.

 

Carmilla shook it away, steeling her face.

 

“Carmilla Karnstein. Mathematics.”

 

Laura smiled, eyes narrowing in a playful squint.

 

“Oh, so _you’re_ the big bad math teacher I’ve heard so much about.”

 

Carmilla scoffed, eyebrows raising.

 

“Big bad? Who’s been talking to you, fourteen-year-olds?”

 

Laura laughed, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

 

“I used to work at the feeder school, Corvae Elementary? Word goes through the food chain about the ‘big scary math teacher’ over at Silas. You’ve got quite the reputation.”

 

It took every shred of restraint to not preen at Laura’s words, to tuck down the surge of pride that pulsed under her skin. Carmilla tamped down the urge and shrugged instead.

 

“Hey, if fear works, it works. I’ll take it.”

 

Laura smiled again, eyes crinkling prettily at the corners. Carmilla found herself looking a little too long, gaze lingering at the curve of Laura's mouth, the shape of her jaw. Carmilla cleared her throat and grabbed her tea mug, averting her eyes.

 

“Nice to meet you, Miss Hollis.”

 

Carmilla swept out of the room, fast and rude, not staying to hear if Laura had found it nice to meet her.

 

 

–

 

 

“Everyone sit down!”

 

Laura was at her wit's end. It was only three weeks into the school year but her students had decided to test the patience of the newest teacher.

 

A lot.

 

Everyday, in fact.

 

And today they were especially keen in seeing how far they had to go to make Laura break.

 

“If you don’t get back in your seats, I’m going to give you...I’m going to…detention! I’ll give you all detention!”

 

A wet paper ball splatted against the wall beside Laura’s head. Laura's ears burned in fury.

 

“Who threw that?!”

 

Laura was half ready to call the principal when a low voice came from the doorway.

 

“ _In your seats._ ”

 

The students froze in their anarchy, all eyes bolting toward the door.

 

Laura turned, nearly ready to scream at whoever had chosen that moment to rescue her, when she saw who her savior was. 

 

Carmilla Karnstein was planted in the doorway, all dark leather and sharp eyeliner. Laura shivered at how intense she looked, hair pulled back and whip smart glasses framing her face. She had her arms crossed over her chest, eyes clocking the room like a predator searching for weak prey. Laura swallowed, her throat going dry at the confidence her body exuded. 

 

“If I so much as hear a whisper of one of you giving Miss Hollis any more trouble, I’ll personally see to it that you are suspended. Understood?”

 

The whole class seemed to nod in unison, the girls hastily taking their seats as Laura’s mouth fell open with how quickly they had fallen in line.

 

Laura looked back at Carmilla, unsure what to say. 

 

“I...thank you,” she settled, embarrassed by the quiver in her voice. 

 

But she couldn’t manage more than that, still staring in awe at the woman who had saved her for no reason. Carmilla nodded at her, her gaze falling away from Laura's almost in shame.

 

“Whatever, Hollis.”

 

With that, she was gone; disappearing into the hallway and leaving Laura alone with her now well behaved class.

 

 

–

 

 

There were rumors, after Carmilla had saved Laura.

 

Rumors that Carmilla knew were damning to them both, but more so to Laura.

 

She hadn’t meant to step in but it was instinct; students were being unruly and it was impossible not to try and get them to heel. It had been instinct, that's all.

 

Or that's what she tried to tell herself. 

 

Carmilla should have seen it coming, truly she should have, but she didn't.

 

It blindsided her when she was called to the Dean's office.

 

Her mother’s office.

 

“Come in, Carmilla.”

 

“You wanted to see me?”

 

Lilita’s face was pinched, annoyed. Instantly, Carmilla was fourteen again, caught with a girl in her room. Sweat broke out across the back of her neck, but she kept her face neutral. Fear was blood in the water to Lilita and Carmilla knew she couldn't give her an inch. 

 

“Don’t play dumb, darling. You know why you’re here.”

 

Carmilla slid into the worn chair in front of her mother’s desk, back ramrod straight as she met her mother's gaze.

 

“Can’t say that I do.”

 

Lilita folded her hands together, eyes narrowing on Carmilla.

 

“You know the rules.”

 

Carmilla grit her teeth, heartbeat pulsing in her ears.

 

“Rules?”

 

Lilita smirked.

 

“Now I _know_ you are playing coy. Rules are in place for a reason, Carmilla. Or have you forgotten Miss Sheridan?”

 

Carmilla’s mouth ran dry, her words fleeing. She hadn't let herself think about that name in years, refused to think about that name.

 

Her mother leaned forward, smirking.

 

She could sense Carmilla's fear.

 

Smell the blood in the water.

 

“No dating among teachers, dear, upon penalty of firing. I’d steer clear of that Hollis girl, if you want her to keep her job.”

 

Carmilla’s jaw clenched, her veins going cold.

 

She barely knew the new teacher.

 

Had seen her in passing a few times.

 

Helped her with her wild class once.

 

And sure, she was beautiful.

 

Beautiful in a way that made Carmilla look a little too long, made her peek in her classroom when she taught just to see how she moved, had her listening for her laugh in the teacher's lounge.

 

But that’s just how women were; captivating and interesting and hard to ignore.

 

That's all Laura Hollis was, just a beautiful woman. 

 

 _That's it_ , Carmilla told herself. 

 

No more than that.

 

There was nothing for her mother to fear.

 

Yet the threat hung heavy over her head, needling at something Carmilla knew she had been avoiding, had clearly been incapable of hiding, and it stung worse than any sting that her mother had found it.

 

“I’m not dating her,” Carmilla finally offered, keeping her voice steady.

 

Lilita went back to her paperwork, dismissive.

 

“And you won’t,” was all she said.

 

Carmilla left the room shaken, confused and exposed and more determined than ever to keep Laura Hollis as far away as possible.

 

 

–

 

 

“Miss Karnstein?”

 

Laura was nervous; she’d been meaning to thank Miss Karnstein for a few days, ever since she saved her from her unruly fourth period English class, but she had been too swamped to seek the math teacher out.

 

She also was a bit intimidated, if truth be told.

 

But, now, it was late and she had seen Karnstein’s light on and Laura couldn’t find a good reason not to actually bite the bullet and do it. She was an adult. She could thank someone without being nervous. 

 

Laura held up her hand in a small wave from the doorway as the other teacher looked up from her papers.

 

“Miss Hollis,” Karnstein offered, with a small nod.

 

Laura took the silence as invitation and stepped into the dimly lit classroom, hands wringing together. 

 

“I just wanted to say thank you, for the other day. I...I pride myself on not needing rescuing but in that case, I clearly did. So...thank you, for stepping in.”

 

Karnstein stared at her a moment, a single unnerving moment that made the tips of Laura’s fingers tingle and her chest feel warm, and then she was shaking her head, rubbing her forehead.

 

“I am sorry they were so rough on you. Juniors, were they?”

 

Laura nodded, taking another tentative step into the room, oddly wanting to prolong the interaction.

 

“They always try this. Pushing their boundaries, trying to be seniors, impatient and all that. I wouldn’t take it personally.”

 

Laura sighed, a small needling fear suddenly vanishing. She slumped against the nearest desk, leaning against the top.

 

“I can’t tell you how much that means to hear. I was pretty convinced they just had it out for me.”

 

Karnstein shook her head, eyes focusing back on her papers.

 

“Kids just want to be heard.”

 

Laura didn’t know why, but the sentiment startled her. It was usual for teachers to write disruptive students off as immature or too young to understand consequences. It was rare for one to see through all the bluster, to know most kids just needed some attention because it wasn’t coming from anywhere else, to know that being young didn't invalidate the emotions they felt.

 

And it was Carmilla Karnstein of all people.

 

The 'big bad' math teacher. 

 

Laura shook her head, snapping out of her dazed curiosity.

 

“Well, thanks. Again. I owe you one, Miss Karnstein.”

 

Laura turned to leave, certain the interaction was over, when Karnstein’s tired voice came from behind her.

 

“Carmilla. We’re coworkers so...you can call me Carmilla.”

 

Laura looked over her shoulder, noticing Carmilla had taken off her glasses and was giving her a small, if tight, smile.

 

“Okay then, Carmilla. First names it is.”

 

Carmilla gave a curt nod, putting her glasses back on and refocusing on her work.

 

“Goodnight, Laura.”

 

Her name sounded foreign to her own ears but it made Laura’s chest feel tight; warm and swollen and the tingling sensation was at her fingers again.

 

“Goodnight, Carmilla.”

 

 

-

 

 

Carmilla dry heaved into the toilet, her body breaking out in a cold sweat.

 

How could she still be trying to puke? She’d thrown up at her house, on the way to work, and in the parking lot. She hadn’t even had a sip of water since stepping foot into the school. There was nothing left.

 

_Nothing but the world’s worst hangover._

 

Carmilla’s body tried to wretch again, coming up empty.

 

There was a banging on the faculty bathroom door.

 

“Are you okay in there?”

 

Carmilla rolled her eyes at the saccharine voice.

 

Of _course_ it was Laura Hollis.

 

Stupid, beautiful Laura Hollis who she had accidentally let herself get on a first name basis with. 

 

Charming, obnoxious Laura Hollis who had seen her bolt into the bathroom and apparently had yet to leave the teacher's lounge. 

 

Another wave of nausea hit, causing Carmilla to groan.

 

“I’m fine, will you leave me in peace? That’s the point of the single stall bathroom.”

 

“Carmilla, you looked green when you went in there and I’ve been listening to you dry heave for the past twenty minutes.”

 

A growl escaped Carmilla’s throat as she pulled herself up from the floor and opened the bathroom door. She glared as Laura’s face came into view, eyes narrowing.

 

“Well, you could leave, you know.”

 

Laura made a face, nose scrunching up.

 

“Jesus, Carmilla, you stink.”

 

Carmilla rolled her eyes, ignoring how dizzy it made her feel.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“No,” Laura started, hands going to her hips like a disappointed mother, “you do. Like alcohol.”

 

Carmilla nodded.

 

“Yeah well, welcome to a hangover, sweetheart.”

 

Laura scoffed.

 

“You came to school hungover? Carmilla, how are you going to teach your next class? You can barely stand up.”

 

Laura shook her head, taking out her cell phone. She tapped away on the screen for a few moments before pocketing it again. She looked up at Carmilla, face set.

 

“You’re going home.”

 

Carmilla laughed.

 

“I’m fine, Laura.”

 

As the words left her mouth, her vision went dark at the corners. The next thing she knew, Laura was holding her, arms wrapped around her waist, face closer than Carmilla had ever even imagined. Her eyes were flecked with gray, dark irises with shadowed streaks. And she smelled amazing, warm and clean and vaguely like cookies.

 

“Please? Please just go home to rest this off.”

 

Laura’s voice was nervous, concerned. Her eyes matched her tone and something in Carmilla weakened. 

 

The fight drained out of Carmilla’s body, exhausting her.

 

“Okay.”

 

 

-

 

 

Laura groaned as Carmilla tried to go to her own car.

 

“Uh-uh, lush. You are not driving anywhere. I don’t even know how you got to school, I think you’re still drunk.”

 

Carmilla laughed but her face remained dark and serious.

 

“Well what then, Miss Hollis?”

 

Her tone was biting and Laura let it roll off her.

 

“My car. There.”

 

She essentially had to pour Carmilla into the front seat, the other woman slumping forward and groaning. Laura rolled her eyes at the drama of it all.

 

“Don’t puke in my car.”

 

 

-

 

 

They were pulling out the parking lot and Carmilla was focused on holding what little was left in her stomach down. Laura’s voice came loud to her hungover ears.

 

“Not to point out the obvious here, but you have to tell me where you live?”

 

Carmilla chanced a glance at the other woman, Laura’s face pinched but calm. Even annoyed, she still managed to look cute. 

 

It was annoying as hell.

 

Carmilla pushed the thought aside, settling against the window.

 

“Corner of Brown and 8th. Big brick building, you can’t miss it.”

 

Laura scoffed before Carmilla could even shut her eyes.

 

“No, you don’t.”

 

Carmilla’s brow furrowed.

 

“Yes, I do?”

 

Laura made a disbelieving noise.

 

“You’ve got to be kidding me. _I_ live there, sixth floor.”

 

Carmilla hummed, closing her eyes and leaning her head against the cool glass.

 

“Eighth,” she offered.

 

Laura laughed, the sound light and decidedly less annoyed than she had been moments before.

 

“What are the odds of that? How have I never seen you there? Or when we are on the way to work? I mean we must take the same commute, for god’s sake!”

 

Carmilla hummed noncommittally, waving her hand.

 

“Work late. Leave early. You’re not observant. Take your pick.”

 

Laura huffed next to her.

 

“You could stand to be a little nicer to me, you know. I’m doing you a favor here.”

 

Carmilla smirked, remembering their one other conversation late at night in her classroom.

 

“Yeah, but you _do_ owe me one.”

 

Though she couldn’t see her, Carmilla could almost hear Laura roll her eyes.

 

 

-

 

 

Carmilla’s head was still throbbing; from the hangover, to be sure, but also from the weight of why she had drunk so much.

 

The anniversary of her brother’s death was always heavy, doubly so since her mother would never acknowledge it, and the fact that a coworker had seen her in such disarray...

 

So like before. 

 

Carmilla's guilt washed over her.

 

Alcohol always made her feel guilty.

 

Laura Hollis made her feel even guiltier.

 

Carmilla was slumped on her couch, eyes closed as the TV played an old Golden Girls episode, when a soft knock came at the door.

 

Confused as it was past nine pm, Carmilla managed to muster the energy to answer it.

 

Standing in leggings and an over-sized sweatshirt was none other than Laura Hollis. 

 

She was fiddling with the sleeves, clearly nervous, and Carmilla felt her embarrassment about the day flood out of her and instead be filled with curiosity.

 

“Laura?”

 

Laura smiled, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, a gentle blush warming her cheeks. 

 

Her face was free of make up, Carmilla realized, and she had never noticed how many freckles dotted across her nose. Carmilla had the urge to count them, trace her fingers over the marks. Laura spoke up, breaking her out of the thought.

 

“I just wanted to check in on you. You looked so...rough this morning.”

 

“Ouch, Hollis.”

 

Laura shook her head, eyes wide.

 

“You didn’t look bad! You never look bad! Just...sick. You looked ill and I didn’t know if you lived with anyone and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

 

Carmilla hummed, her impulses getting the best of her, and opened her door wider.

 

“You want some tea?”

 

The words came out of her mouth without Carmilla's permission. 

 

Laura’s nose wrinkled at the question.

 

“More of a cocoa girl.”

 

Carmilla huffed a laugh, ignoring all the red flags that were leaping up in her mind.

 

“I have bourbon.”

 

Laura shook her head with a soft laugh, walking into the apartment.

 

“I’m shocked you still have any left, with how you smelled this morning.”

 

Carmilla rolled her eyes, before the true realization of what she was doing struck her.

 

She’d just invited the one coworker she shouldn’t fraternize with into her apartment late at night for drinks.

 

A coworker who she couldn't seem to stop from being drawn to. 

 

She froze in the doorway, panic lancing through her bones.

 

“Carmilla? You okay?”

 

Laura was hesitating by the couch, wringing her hands together in a way that was so endearing that Carmilla had to look away so she didn't walk across the room and still Laura's hands with her own.

 

Carmilla shook her head at the pressing worry, shoving it aside.

 

She could do this.

 

She was an adult.

 

They’d have one drink, a quick one as a thank you for Laura mopping up her drunk self earlier, and that would be that. She’d leave and her mother would never be the wiser.

 

Nothing bad could come of it. 

 

They were adults. 

 

“You want that bourbon?” She finally asked, closing the door.

 

Laura gave her a soft smile, one that caused warmth to sit in Carmilla's throat.

 

“Maybe a small one.”

 

 

-

 

 

Two hours had passed and Laura was still swirling a sip of bourbon in the bottom of her glass.

 

She was tucked onto a rather uncomfortable leather sofa as Carmilla finished a story about one of the seniors, Mel Callis.

 

“I don’t know how she does it; I’ve made her take tests alone to verify she isn’t cheating. But even though she has never done a single homework assignment, she answers every question correctly.”

 

“A calculus savant?”

 

Carmilla hummed, putting her own glass down.

 

“She’s too smart. I need to figure out how to challenge her more, keep her engaged.”

 

Laura nodded, watching as Carmilla's face scrunched up in thought. She was so adamant about making sure her students were involved, that her classes were giving them the best prep for college, and Laura was overcome with admiration for Carmilla's determination for it. 

 

As she looked at her, Carmilla stifled a yawn, her blinks getting slow like a tired child. Laura knew she should leave. 

 

“A problem for another night,” she offered, standing and stretching.

 

Carmilla’s brow furrowed at her words but Laura barely caught it, moving to place her glass in the kitchen sink. Laura wandered to the door, a needling thought pinging around in her brain. She'd been ruminating on it since she found out they lived in the same building earlier that day. 

 

“Actually,” Laura turned as she reached the door, Carmilla still tucked on the couch; tired and soft and so different from the hard teacher she'd come to associate her with.

 

“Since we live in the same place and work in the same place, would you want to carpool? Take turns driving each week, split gas costs? I mean, it doesn’t make sense for us to both-”

 

“No.”

 

Carmilla voice was hard and sudden, eyes turned steely. 

 

Laura felt slapped.

 

The lazy, warm atmosphere was gone, replaced by a sharp discomfort that filled the room.

 

Laura didn’t know if she and Carmilla were friends, per say, but they had spent a fun evening together and it had felt like…

 

Laura wasn’t sure what it felt like, but it felt like _something_.

 

Something that she couldn't name, wasn't sure if she should, but there had been an air of at least friendliness that there hadn't been before. 

 

And yet Carmilla had snapped at her like a feral dog.

 

“I just mean-”

 

“No, Laura.”

 

Carmilla’s face had hardened, her eyes dark and almost angry; like Laura had offended her by offering. 

 

It made Laura offended, too.

 

“Fine, then. Excuse me for trying to make both of our lives easier.”

 

Laura turned to leave, embarrassment and sudden irritation lighting up her spine, when Carmilla’s voice came again.

 

“No, wait, Laura-”

 

“It’s fine, whatever Carmilla. It’s not a big deal but seriously, do you have to be rude about _everything_? Would it kill you to be the least bit polite? I mean, I drove your drunk ass home for god’s sake, the very minimum you could do is-”

 

Carmilla had gotten up and bolted toward Laura, shaking her head. Her eyes were apologetic, less hard than before, but Laura was mortified by her reaction and didn't care to stay to hear why the idea of being with Laura during a commute was so ridiculous. 

 

“No, stop, I’m sorry, it’s not you-”

 

Laura’s jaw tightened.

 

“I know it’s not me! It’s you!”

 

Carmilla sighed, head dropping forward, hand coming up to run through her hair.

 

“There are rules, Laura. It’s not that it’s a bad idea but it’s a bad idea because of where we work.”

 

Laura cocked her head in confusion, anger and embarrassment still lighting up her veins.

 

“Where we work?”

 

Carmilla finally looked up at her, clearly uncomfortable but trying to press through it. 

 

“It would look...a certain way.”

 

Laura scrunched her face.

 

“A certain way?”

 

Carmilla huffed, annoyed.

 

How could _Carmilla_ be annoyed? Laura had no idea what she was talking about and Carmilla had the audacity to be annoyed with _her_?

 

“Inappropriate, Laura. It would look inappropriate.”

 

Laura couldn’t help the laugh that barked out of her.

 

“Oh my god, Carmilla, I’m asking you to carpool, not go down on me in the parking lot.”

 

Carmilla’s eyes widened and Laura felt her own throat close up. 

 

 _Kill me now,_ Laura thought.

 

“I-that-I don’t-”

 

Carmilla snapped out of her daze and caught one of Laura’s flailing hands in her own. Laura’s mouth snapped shut.

 

“I know you aren’t trying anything. _I_ know that. But did you read all the fine print of your contract? Every rule, every line?”

 

Laura’s brow furrowed. She thought she had. Nothing had seemed that outrageous, that bizarre. Silas Girls Academy was strict, that was true, but she didn't recall anything outlandish among the stipulations. 

 

What had she missed?

 

“Coworkers are forbidden from dating. Even implication is enough for termination.”

 

Laura scoffed.

 

“That’s ridiculous, who would ever think that _we_ were dating?”

 

She gestured between the little space between herself and Carmilla, her hand accidentally hitting the other woman’s stomach. The touch sent them both to silence, their eyes meeting.

 

Laura felt that sensation again, the tingling in the tips of her fingers that she couldn’t quite place, the heat rising up her spine, Carmilla's dark eyes boring into her own, and then it was gone in an instant when Carmilla turned and walked back toward the kitchen.

 

“It doesn’t matter. We can’t carpool. End of story.”

 

Laura stood frozen by the door, mind still on the confusing moment prior. She shook her head, rattling the remnants of it away.

 

It didn't matter. 

 

“Whatever you say, Carmilla.”

 

With that, she left, confusion etching it’s way into her bones.

 

 

-

 

 

Sheepish wasn’t the right word, but it was close.

 

Carmilla had been downright avoiding Laura Hollis for the past two weeks.

 

Having her care for her and cart her from school like a drunken college student was bad enough, but their one night of drinks had made Carmilla uncomfortable beyond belief.

 

And not just due to how awkwardly it had ended.

 

Carmilla thought she could trust herself to keep a woman she barely knew, and had been forbidden to date, let alone befriend, at arms length; there was just something about Laura though.

 

She couldn’t put her finger on it.

 

She was lovely and confident, all soft edges with steel underneath. She cared for her students with a fierceness Carmilla had never seen, taught with so much energy that it was almost exhausting to look at. Her eyes were honest and sharp and she wouldn't look away, even when she probably should.

 

Laura was too sweet and a little pushy and disorganized and judgmental and impatient and-

 

Carmilla took a breath, willing her mind back to the exams she had to grade.

 

Two weeks of avoiding Laura Hollis and she couldn’t stop thinking about her.

 

_All the more reason to avoid her._

 

The thought rang loud, painful, and true.

 

 

-

 

 

“Are you _kidding_ me?”

 

Laura turned the key again but the ignition just sputtered and sputtered before clunking out with a wheeze.

 

She let out a low groan, head dropping forward to land against the steering wheel.

 

Of _course_ her car would breakdown after the end of a hellish week. 

 

After a long, silent, moment, a rap came on her window.

 

Laura turned her head, still keeping it against the steering wheel, and looked up to see the raised eyebrows of Carmilla Karnstein.

 

She bit back another groan, cheeks already warming at the prospect of what was sure to be another embarrassing interaction.

 

Using what was left of her thin patience, Laura cranked down the window of her old car.

 

“What?” She bit out.

 

Carmilla’s mouth was pressed into a thin line.

 

“Car trouble?”

 

Laura nearly growled.

 

“What gave you that idea?”

 

Carmilla shook her head, glancing around the parking lot.

 

It was late, dark; a Friday evening with no one left but the pair of them. Laura had stayed a few hours after school let out to prep a study guide for midterms. She had one ready but it didn’t cover what her students seemed to be struggling with and she ended up reworking the whole thing.

 

“C’mon,” Carmilla sighed, walking away.

 

Laura’s eyebrows drew together.

 

“What?” She called after her.

 

Carmilla shook her head again, looking back over her shoulder.

 

“I owe you a ride home, so take it or leave it.”

 

Laura let her head drop to the steering wheel again.

 

She did not understand that woman; hot and cold and altogether confusing. 

 

Still, she didn’t want to pay for a taxi and sitting in the parking lot all weekend certainly wasn’t an option.

 

With another childish huff, Laura gathered her things and followed Carmilla to her car, annoyance still simmering under her skin.

 

 

-

 

 

Awkward didn’t begin to cover the tension filling the small space.

 

Carmilla was downright uncomfortable.

 

Laura was silent, stewing and looking out the window without giving Carmilla so much as a glance.

 

Not that she wanted a glance.

 

Absolutely, definitely did not want a glance.

 

She just wanted this stifling, unbearable silence to be gone.

 

“Laura-” Carmilla tried, only to have the other woman explode at her.

 

“What’s the deal here, Carmilla? You’re rude and impolite and ignore me for weeks then suddenly you want to be my knight in shining Prius and drive me home? After you specifically said that could never happen because we’ll get fired?”

 

Carmilla grit her teeth, every feeling she had bottled up for weeks bursting through the surface.

 

“Not we, Laura. _You_. _You’ll_ get fired.”

 

That seemed to stop Laura in her tracks.

 

“What do you mean _I’ll_ get fired? The contract says-”

 

“The Dean is my mother.”

 

If the tension in the car had been uncomfortable before, it was unbearable after Carmilla’s words.

 

“She’s...”

 

Carmilla shook her head, focusing on the road, regretting every decision that had led her to this exact moment.

 

“My mother. She’s my fucking mother. This hurts you, not me. No matter how unfair that is.”

 

Carmilla could feel Laura’s eyes on her, nearly hear the wheels turning in her head, and, before she could stop herself, words were falling out of her mouth.

 

“It’s why I’ve been avoiding you. It’s just better if we aren’t friends, aren’t anything. It’s safer. Fairer.”

 

Silence engulfed the car.

 

Carmilla chanced a glance over at Laura, catching her with her mouth hanging open and a fire in her eyes that she couldn’t quite name. Carmilla jerked her gaze away, nearly crashing the car as she pulled into the apartment parking lot. Without waiting for Laura to respond to the bomb she had dropped, Carmilla sprang from the car and intended to run to her apartment.

 

Very mature.

 

Totally what an adult would do.

 

But, nevertheless, what she intended.

 

Laura didn’t let her get far, grabbing her by the back of the shirt and tugging her toward the elevator as she tried to dip into the stairwell.

 

Carmilla opened her mouth to argue, but Laura silenced her with a look.

 

“My apartment. Now. You’re explaining.”

 

Carmilla tried to get out why that was such a very bad, no good idea but Laura shushed her like an agitated librarian.

 

“Do not. You be quiet until I tell you to speak.”

 

Carmilla swallowed, ignoring the heat that shot down her spine and filled her stomach, and watched the numbers of the floors flick by, one after the other.

 

 

-

 

 

Laura could barely feel embarrassment about the state of her apartment – half eaten cookie packages open on the counter, stacks of romance novels by the couch, a bra thrown across the back of a kitchen chair – because she was so filled with anger and annoyance and...and…

 

She couldn’t pinpoint what it was, what made her so agitated, so _upset,_ by Carmilla’s indifference toward her.

 

Except it hadn’t been indifference.

 

Not if what she said was true, that Laura would be the only one affected by implication about the two of them.

 

Then it might have been...

 

Carmilla might...

 

Laura needed answers and she needed them now.

 

And not the half information that Carmilla seemed so keen to give her, the almost full story.

 

Complete answers.

 

She looked at Carmilla, who stood awkwardly leaning against the kitchen counter, holding a cooling mug of cocoa that Laura insisted she have.

 

Laura crossed her arms, glaring.

 

“Your mother is the Dean.”

 

Carmilla hummed, nodding, eyes focused on her hands.

 

“And the rule, the no-fraternizing-with-coworkers rule that’s…?”

 

Carmilla cleared her throat, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

 

“Me. That’s...because of me.”

 

Laura’s brow furrowed.

 

“ _Because_ of you.”

 

Carmilla finally looked up at her, eyes wide and honest and little defiant.

 

"Yes. Me. Are you satisfied, teach? Or do you want an essay?"

 

Laura grit her teeth, feeling anger bubble under her skin.

 

"Knock it off, Carmilla! You aren't a child. Why can't you just act like an adult for once?" 

 

Carmilla slammed her mug on the counter, taking a step toward Laura. 

 

"What are you looking for here, Laura? Some tragic little tale you can sink your teeth into? A story you can pick apart for themes? It's not that complicated.”

 

Carmilla stalked toward the door, grabbing her bag from the kitchen chair as she spoke.

 

“My brother killed himself four years ago and one of my coworkers was with me when I found out. She took me home, took care of me, and weeks later while I was still in complete, disgusting grief, we fucked. And we kept fucking. Until one day, she decided she didn't swing that way anymore. And it ended messy. I was messy. As you saw, I’m still a little messy."

 

Carmilla was shaking her head, voice wobbling as she struggled frantically to get her jacket it on. Laura felt guilt seep into her bones, ache crack open her chest as she watched Carmilla's angry bravado crumble around her. 

 

"But my mother fired her, fired her because she had fucked me over, as if Will dying wasn’t also a reason I was so fucked up. And that woman now can’t teach on this side of the country, blackballed because my bitch of a mother. So, now there’s the rule. No relationships between coworkers, on grounds of termination.”

 

Carmilla stopped, her harried movements falling away as her breath was short. Laura took a step toward her, not knowing what to do, what to say.

 

"Carmilla, I-"

 

Carmilla shook her head, looking up at Laura. Her eyes were sad, dark and apologetic and desperate in a way Laura didn't understand. 

 

“She will ruin you if you are seen with me. I’ve seen her do it. And, at the time, with Elle...I was happy she did it. And I feel guilty about that every day, that I took some pleasure in it, but I won’t let her do it again," Carmilla slung her bag over her shoulder, eyes falling from Laura's. "Not to you.”

 

Laura’s mouth fell open.

 

_Not to you._

 

The words echoed around in her head, confusing her, muddling her, sending lightning to the tips of her fingers.

 

“Carmilla, why-”

 

Carmilla was already at the door, slipping out.

 

“You got the answers you wanted Laura, I don’t have anything else. That’s it.”

 

Carmilla’s hand was on the doorknob, the door shutting behind her, when Laura managed to grab her wrist, halting her from escaping completely.

 

“Not me. You said not me. Why not me?”

 

She couldn’t get passed it.

 

Couldn’t unhear it.

 

The way it sounded.

 

What it implied.

 

What she wanted it to mean.

 

Carmilla’s jaw clenched, her eyes darting up to meet Laura’s and getting caught there.

 

She took a shuddering breath and for a fleeting, infinite moment Laura was certain Carmilla's mouth was going to press against her own. Then, Carmilla pulled her wrist away, shaking her head. 

 

“Don’t be an idiot. You know why.”

 

Without letting Laura answer, Carmilla turned and fled down the hall.

 

 

-

 

 

_You know why._

 

Oh god, she’d said it.

 

She’d said that out loud to Laura.

 

She hadn't meant to, god she hadn't meant to, but Laura was looking at her with those dark eyes and they were so honest and open and Carmilla couldn't _not_ tell her.

 

Carmilla curled into a ball, letting the midday sun pour into her room without consequence.

 

It was Saturday, she didn’t have to leave her bed.

 

Hell, she didn’t have to leave the apartment until Monday. And maybe, by then, Laura would have chosen to forget the heavy, uncomfortable implications of Carmilla’s words.

 

_You know why._

 

Did she?

 

Carmilla herself barely knew why; why it needled her, the thought of Laura being blackballed from working on the east coast, why it made her ache that Laura was in her mother’s war path, at the idea that under no circumstances could they ever be more than passing hellos in the hall.

 

Carmilla closed her eyes, hoping for sleep.

 

All she saw were dark brown irises, earnest and hopeful and unflinching, eyes that matched the English teacher two floors below. 

 

She knew why. 

 

She wondered if Laura did, too.

 

-

 

 

Laura couldn’t sleep.

 

She was restless and anxious and stir-crazy in a way that made her sweat.

 

_You know why._

 

Laura didn’t know why.

 

Couldn’t.

 

Wouldn’t fathom it.

 

She tried to ignore the tingle in her fingertips at the idea, her chest pounding with the pulse of it.

 

Carmilla’s face had been so broken that night, hurt at having to come clean about something so private, desperate in a way that flooded Laura with guilt. But in that moment before she left, her face open and raw, she had just looked sad.

 

Helpless.

 

Longing.

 

Laura groaned, rolling over.

 

_You know why._

 

Laura didn’t know, not really.

 

Except, when she thought about the way she shivered when Carmilla was near, the way seeing Carmilla made her chest tighten, the way her heart ached for her after only knowing her such a short time, maybe she did.

 

Maybe she did.

 

-

 

Carmilla glanced at the clock, swiping a hand down her face.

 

She should have been in bed hours ago but she was restless. Monday morning was inching closer, it technically was already here, and she knew she’d have to face Laura after their disastrous encounter.

 

Carmilla wasn’t used to feeling embarrassed, but she couldn’t help but feel mortified by the childish confession she had made.

 

It didn't matter.

 

It couldn't happen. 

 

Whether Carmilla gave voice to it or not, the path was set. 

 

It was Laura's job on the line. 

 

Carmilla groaned, dropping her head into her hands, as a knock came on her door. 

 

A shiver rippled down her spine. 

 

Instinctively, she knew who it was, who it had to be. No one else would bother her now, not this late. 

 

_Laura._

 

She shouldn't answer. Carmilla knew that was the correct course of action. She shouldn't answer the door, should let Laura wait and then walk away. That was the responsible, adult, professional thing to do. 

 

They were both adults. 

 

They were both adults. 

 

"Carmilla?" Laura's voice came muffled from beyond the door. 

 

_Oh, screw it. They were both adults._

 

Carmilla padded over to the door, opening it slowly. 

 

Laura was in an over-sized sweater, small sleep shorts nearly invisible underneath. Her eyes were red rimmed and Carmilla briefly wondered if she'd been crying. Was she crying about Carmilla? 

 

"I'm sorry," Laura started, eyes a little watery, "I shouldn't have pushed you to tell me all that. That was so unfair and rude and selfish and I...I didn't think it was going to be...I didn't know, but I'm sorry and I, uh, I just wanted to apologize and also say thank you. I know you didn't have to tell me that, and I know you weren't doing it for me but-" 

 

"Of course I did it for you." 

 

Laura's mouth snapped shut. 

 

Carmilla closed her eyes, berating herself. 

 

"I mean, I know I didn't have to tell you that. But you were right. You deserved to know why the rules are...the way they are." 

 

Laura shifted her weight back and forth on her feet and Carmilla realized just how small she was. She felt a surge of longing bolt through her, the impulse to reach out, but she kept her hand planted firmly on the door. 

 

They were adults. 

 

"I'm also...I'm sorry about your brother." 

 

Carmilla sucked in a breath. She nodded, dropping her gaze to the floor. 

 

"Thank you," she managed. 

 

There was a silence that wrapped around them then, warm and delicate and so gentle that Carmilla was afraid to breathe. She looked up, eyes catching Laura's and felt warmth fill her limbs, spread through her chest and send her heart thudding softly. 

 

"I should go," Laura whispered as Carmilla nodded.

 

"Right..." 

 

Laura licked her lips, her tongue pink and damp and Carmilla was leaning forward before she could stop herself. Laura's breath hitched, her eyes darkening, and Carmilla caught herself.

 

"Goodnight, Laura," she struggled to say, voice low. 

 

They were adults. 

 

They were adults. 

 

Laura let out a long breath.

 

"Oh, fuck it." She muttered before Laura's mouth surged up to meet her own.

 

 

-

 

"Oh, fuck it," Laura breathed, leaning up and pressing her mouth to Carmilla's. 

 

Carmilla stiffened against her and then was hauling her in, slamming the door behind her as she tugged Laura into the apartment. 

 

It was messy; fast and desperate and panting. Carmilla's teeth bit at her lips, sending shivers skittering all over her skin, shooting between her legs. Laura couldn't stop touching, her hands tugging at Carmilla's hair, gripping at her collar, slipping under her t-shirt to slide across her hips. Carmilla was making the most pleading noises, high and guttural and needy. 

 

"This is a bad idea," Carmilla panted, yanking Laura's sweater over her head before taking a nipple into her warm mouth. 

 

Laura groaned at the sensation, holding Carmilla's head to her body. 

 

"The worst," she agreed, tugging her own sleep shorts off. 

 

Carmilla moved them, the pair stumbling through half-discarded clothes and bumping into walls as they tried to map each other with their mouths. 

 

"We should probably stop," Carmilla offered, her naked body sliding down Laura's.

 

Laura nodded, her eyes rolling back as Carmilla's mouth finally landed where she wanted her most.

 

"Probably, but don't you dare." 

 

Carmilla hummed against her, her hands seeking out Laura's, and as Laura came with a sharp cry, their fingers laced together. 

 

 

-

 

 

Carmilla lay spent, her chest heaving. She'd never had sex feel like that before; like it was ripping her open and stitching her together all at once. 

 

"We're so fucked," she muttered, turning her head to look at Laura. 

 

Laura's dark eyes were staring back at her, lips swollen and cheeks ruddy. 

 

"So, so fucked," Laura agreed, rolling to hover over Carmilla, bringing their mouths together again.

 

 

-

 

 

Sneaking around, Laura discovered, was surprisingly easier than either she or Carmilla had anticipated. 

 

They were closing in on nine weeks of hidden kisses, stolen nights, and secret dinners in the dark of their apartments. 

 

It wasn't ideal, she could admit that, but the more time she spent with Carmilla, the more she was willing to risk. 

 

Carmilla had a way of drawing her in, leaving her wanting more and more no matter how much she had already had. 

 

It was nearly a month in when Laura realized they weren't just sneaking around having a tryst; Carmilla had walked into her apartment after a parent-teacher meeting had run long, looking bone weary and disheveled. She'd walked by Laura, who had been sitting at her kitchen table sorting quizzes, and leaned down to kiss the edge of her shoulder. She'd lingered, taking a deep breath. 

 

"I missed you," Carmilla had breathed. 

 

The way she'd said it, like she could finally relax near Laura, had made it click. 

 

This wasn't some menial thing. 

 

 _This is it,_ Laura had thought then.  _She is it for me._

 

Carmilla was it for Laura, but no one could know. 

 

The secrecy began to needle at her, at both of them, and Laura wondered how long the pair could keep going without getting caught. 

 

 

-

 

 

Carmilla drained the last of her grape soda, glancing around the teacher's lounge. 

 

It was especially crowded today; the feeder school was touring the Academy, armies of eighth graders marching up and down the halls of their potential future school. The middle school teachers had come to chaperon the little minions and the lounge was stuffed to the gills with more bodies than usual. 

 

Carmilla was finishing up her lunch, eager to escape the overcrowding, when she heard the familiar sound of Laura's laugh. 

 

She schooled herself to not immediately search for her, they had to be careful, but after a moment she saw Laura by the coffee maker talking to a tall red-haired woman. 

 

Carmilla vaguely knew the other teacher - a P.E. teacher over at Corvae if she remembered correctly - and Carmilla watched as Laura swatted at the woman's arm playfully. The redhead leaned forward, edging closer into Laura's space with a cocky grin. 

 

White hot heat seared into Carmilla's veins. 

 

If she didn't know any better, she'd think they were flirting. 

 

It certainly _looked_ like flirting. 

 

Which was fine. Laura wasn't beholden to her. They were dating, they were together, but no one here knew that, could know that. 

 

The red-haired teacher took out her phone and offered it to Laura, which Laura tapped away on with a small smile. 

 

Carmilla crunched her empty soda can in her fist, blush flaring up her neck. 

 

She may not be able to do anything about Big Red flirting with Laura, but she certainly didn't have to sit around and watch. 

 

Shoving back from the table with more force than was necessary, Carmilla grabbed her trash and nearly stomped to the closest bin. She shoved the rubbish inside before marching toward the door, making sure she didn't look at Laura as she passed. 

 

She could feel Laura's eyes on her as she escaped, the weight of them on her back, and it did nothing but make the jealousy inside her burn hotter, harder, and sting just a little bit worse. 

 

 

-

 

 

Laura took a breath, smoothing the skirt of her dress down, before knocking on Carmilla's classroom door. She knew Carmilla had a free period and she knew she liked to hole up away from the other teachers. 

 

Away from her. 

 

After a long moment, Carmilla's muffled voice came allowing her entry. 

 

Laura stepped inside, closing the door after her. Carmilla was at her desk, back bone straight, with her eyes never leaving her paperwork. 

 

"You shouldn't be here, Laura. You know the rules."

 

Laura sighed, taking a step further into the room. 

 

"I know. I know the rules. But you just...you left and seemed off so I just wanted to check on you, quickly." 

 

Carmilla's jaw clenched. 

 

"I'm fine. You can go back to Big Red and continue flirting without concern." 

 

Laura felt slapped. 

 

 _"Excuse_ me?" 

 

Carmilla didn't look up, just kept scribbling away. 

 

"She's got your phone number now and there's certainly no rule about dating feeder school teachers..." 

 

Laura marched over to Carmilla's desk and ripped the pen out of her hand. 

 

"Okay, that's enough. You're doing it again, acting like a child." 

 

Carmilla glared up at her, eyes angry but also hurt in a way Laura couldn't fully understand. 

 

"Well I may be a child, but at least I'm not flirting with other women in front of you." 

 

Laura shook her head, heat raising to her cheeks. 

 

Danny had been overly friendly, sure, and she'd asked for Laura's number. But they had worked together before, it wasn't anything untoward. Carmilla was seeing things. 

 

"I was not flirting." 

 

Carmilla stood up as she scoffed, moving to a cabinet to the right of her desk. She opened the door and emerged with a new pen. 

 

"Whatever, Laura."

 

Laura was blisteringly angry. She hated when Carmilla brushed her off, made it seem like she was unreasonable. It made her want to explode. She marched over to her and grabbed the pen from her hand, causing Carmilla to stumble backward into the cabinet. 

 

"You are so ridiculous, you know that? Jealous and childish and incapable of discussing things like an adult." Laura hissed, tossing the pen to the ground. "I'm in love you with you, you absolute asshole." 

 

Carmilla surged forward then, her mouth engulfing Laura's in a kiss that was almost as much fight as it was adoration. Laura pushed Carmilla back against the cabinet, hands tugging on her hair as she pressed her body full against her.

 

"You love me," Carmilla panted as Laura's mouth sucked just beneath the collar of her shirt. 

 

Laura nodded.

 

Carmilla grabbed Laura by the upper arms, pushing her back with one firm shove. 

 

"I love you too," she managed when Laura's gaze met her own. 

 

Laura swallowed, taking in Carmilla's swollen lips, her askew shirt, the fact that they were in a _classroom._  

 

"Fuck," Laura said, leaning in and wrapping Carmilla in her arms. Carmilla's arms pulled her close, cradling her head with her hands. 

 

"I'll figure it out," Carmilla promised, voice steady. 

 

Laura just held her tighter. 

 

 

-

 

 

"Carmilla, dear, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?" 

 

Lilita seemed pleased, which Carmilla thanked the stars for. The semester had ended with a school-wide GPA high, an aim that kept the Academy on the map among the elite, and Carmilla could see how her mother preened under the success of the first half of the year. 

 

Carmilla knew that contentment was about to go up in smoke, but she'd made her decision. 

 

In truth, she'd made it long ago. 

 

Using all the courage she could, Carmilla slid a letter across her mother's desk. 

 

Lilita took a moment to read it, face darkening line by line. 

 

When she looked up at Carmilla, her anger was evident. 

 

"You foolish girl. After everything I've done for you, you'd throw it all away?" 

 

Carmilla crossed her arms, the fear that her mother used to be able to strike in her not surfacing. 

 

"I appreciate everything, mother. But I'm reaching for something else, now." 

 

Lilita's pinched face reddened, but she schooled herself. She took the letter and carefully folded it, tucking it under the paper she had been reading. 

 

"All the best then, Miss Karnstein." 

 

Without sparing her another glance, Lilita returned to her work. 

 

Carmilla left the office, her heart and steps lighter than they had been in years, with only one destination on her mind. 

 

 

-

 

 

Laura had tried not to read anything into it, but Carmilla had avoided her the past few days. She had claimed it was the end of semester rush, which Laura understood, but Carmilla hadn't come over after work and they hadn't slept in the same bed for nearly six days. 

 

She was trying not to read into it, not to panic, but the worry was there. 

 

Carmilla's jealousy, the stress of hiding, the half-relationship they were forced to have; it was taking it's toll, on the pair of them.

 

Laura was beginning to wonder how much more they could take. 

 

Laura was lost in thought, scrubbing at the same pan for the past twenty minutes, when a soft knock came at the door. She turned off the water, drying her hands with a small towel, and shuffled to the door. 

 

When she opened it, Carmilla stood before her with a bouquet of calla lilies and a bottle of bourbon. Laura couldn't help but laugh at the sight, the bottle the same brand they had shared a glass of all those months ago.

 

"What's all this?" She asked. 

 

Carmilla took a breath, walking into the apartment with a determination that looked practiced. Laura gave her a quizzical look but Carmilla just offered her the flowers. 

 

"Laura Hollis, would you like to go to dinner with me this evening?" 

 

Laura giggled, sniffing the flowers.

 

"Why Miss Karnstein, I do believe I had plans to make you dinner already." 

 

Carmilla took a step closer, the look in her eye unlike anything Laura had seen before. She placed the bourbon down on the kitchen table and moved to pluck the flowers away from Laura, laying them next to the bottle. 

 

"No, Laura. I am asking you to go _out_ with me." 

 

A sting of longing lanced through Laura at the thought; the pair of them in a dimly lit restaurant, Carmilla's face in candle light, sharing an overpriced dessert. But they couldn't. They couldn't be seen. Not together. 

 

"You know we can't, Carm."

 

Carmilla smiled, full and toothy and free, her hands seeking out Laura's.

 

"Yes, we can. I told you I'd figure it out." She pulled Laura in, their foreheads pressing together. 

 

"Carm, what do you-" 

 

"I quit. I told my mother yesterday. I'm not a teacher at the Academy anymore." 

 

Laura could feel the tension sigh out of Carmilla, her arms sliding around Laura's waist.

 

"We're free. I can take you out and show everyone you're mine and that I'm yours." 

 

Carmilla schooled her features, a small flicker of fear washing across them. 

 

"If, uh, if you want that, that is." 

 

Laura couldn't bare it. 

 

She grabbed Carmilla's face and kissed her hard, their teeth clacking together almost painfully. Carmilla tried to slow the kiss, make it less manic, but Laura was surging with emotion. She could feel the tears pooling behind her eyes, the relief floating through her veins, and then she was wrapping her arms around Carmilla's neck and hugging her so hard that Carmilla was wheezing as she laughed. 

 

"How, but-your job, your career, Carmilla this is-" 

 

Carmilla pulled Laura off of her, her hands reaching up to cup Laura's cheeks. She looked at Laura for a long breath, her smile easy and calm and sure. 

 

"You're worth it, cutie." 

 

Laura shook her head, tears finally slipping down her face. She tugged Carmilla in for a kiss, laughing against her mouth.

 

"I love you, so much." 

 

Carmilla hummed in agreement, kissing her warmly. 

 

Laura's stomach grumbled, breaking the two apart. 

 

"So...you mentioned dinner?" 

 

Carmilla smiled, eyes lighter than Laura had ever seen them. She grabbed Laura's hand, and tugged her toward the door, fingers intertwined as they stepped outside. 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> that's all she wrote! this took a lot of different turns than i intended - my computer got wiped so i rewrote large chunks of it and don't think they came out quite like i aimed for. it's a little all over the place and there's lots of hanging like backstory threads and pacing-wise i don't love it, but i'm still hoping you could get some enjoyment out of it! i didn't wanna leave the big bang hanging anymore, so HERE YA GAYS GO. 
> 
> i also didn't really resolve what carmilla does after, but i imagine she goes on to get some more education and becomes a college professor - no blackballing by lilita or anything - and laura gets to stay and work her fancy gig at the academy. 
> 
> thanks so much for reading my stuff and just being the nicest fandom. i've been lurking in some other fandoms and WOW yall are just a special bunch and i hope you all know that. 
> 
> i'll be back with more reigning monarch soon (i will never leave it incomplete! ya bitch wouldn't do that!) but thanks again for coming along this ride!
> 
> may you all find $34 in a coat pocket.


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